I'm from West Virginia in the United States. Perhaps I'm not from the United States...I grew up poor and in the country. Poverty unites people from all countries. That feeling everyone knows everything about you even when you don't even know yourself all that well. That feeling you are out of place, that what everyone else sees as home is some strange sanitarium and you can't remember what outrage you committed to be sent there and all you know is if you don't get out then you'll shrivel up and die like a flower in the dark.
When I was a kid I burned the American flag. I did it in full awareness of what I was doing. In that symbolic act I shed my United States citizenship and became a citizen of the world. I quit my education one semester shy of a degree precisely because I knew that if I had a degree and a job as a teacher or some such low level Clerical Class position I would eventually become just another drone, spouting off the same bullshit as all the others just so I could keep my job, keep my income without having to worry about how many children starved to death so I could have a new car and a house in the suburbs.
So what now?
I'm sixty four and a couple of weeks shy of retiring. I've got nothing. As I said in one of my poems: "A head full of nitro and no fuse to blow."
I have no chains binding me to any particular nationality, in fact, I have considered myself as a cosmopolite since the early days, therefore I did not have any secret or public desire to rebel or infiltrate the public ideas that were and still are common to the government and the country. I naturally considered myself being anyone or anything that I needed to be according to my caprices and desires, despite any circumstances, such as the above mentioned national country or other possible chains, the likes of morality, religion, social conduct, to give you a few examples. However, I intellectually identify with the unique differences of the populations produced in different geographic layers of the world, not only in genetic make-up, but also in emotional dynamics. If it tells you anything, I am from Europe, one of the three Baltic states, Lithuania. Number one for suicide rates, prone to crimes, proudly feasting on alcoholism that especially escalated since the occupation of the USSR, one of the most unempathic countries according to global emotional analysis, beautiful forests that are almost blueish green after a good rain, cold as a daughter of mother Siberia in winter when it gets to -25C, and excruciatingly heavily hot during summers, when it is +30C, with the absolute zenit of perfectioned season - autumn, a quite lovely Old Town in the capital Vilnius, with cashiers that do not greet and do not bid farewell, and some paranoid folk, that has imaginary gold in their hands, and always fears, that someone will come and steal - keyword; occupy - it.
It is a very lovely crisis. You should visit. After all, you are soon retiring, and you will have all the time in the world to look at the other side of dystopia.
Predominantly, I write, and I'd like to write as long as I continue to live. But, I must say, that I do not desire to live hundreds of years at all. After all, I am, as I proclaimed, Lithuanian. But sometimes I am Alexander the Great, too.
"But, I must say, that I do not desire to live hundreds of years at all. After all, I am, as I proclaimed, Lithuanian. But sometimes I am Alexander the Great, too."
I am a Secular Mortalist...it is far more accurate a term than Atheist. I believe that the single most proven fact in the world is that we die and when we do we cease to exist. 700 billion have lived and died...not one is come back from the dead...I am one of 7 billion people alive on the earth today. The odds are 707 billion to one that when I die I will cease to exist just like all the others.
Once you acknowledge your mortality, once you truly accept that you will die and when you do you will cease to exist, then the rest of your life falls into place. You go from being a child to being an adult.
I, too, write. Poetry, short stories, novels, essays, scripts for seminars I have presented over the years. Hundreds of thousands of words in my life.
Writing is the ultimate act of vanity. To believe that what you write is worthy of being read by another person takes big balls.
Writing is life. Anything you experience or think or feel is wasted if you don't write it down.